


Come Back To Me

by parka_girl



Category: K-pop, Topp Dogg (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - K-pop, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-03-12
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:50:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1302175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/parka_girl/pseuds/parka_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seokjin's got a career as an idol, but Hyosang's career didn't turn out the same. Hyosang goes to one of Seokjin's shows.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Back To Me

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Bii's song of the same name.

Hyosang doesn't know why he's here. Or, he does, but he can't believe it. He'd left straight from work, an office job he got when he couldn't live out his dreams. But Seokjin, who goes by Jin now, he's doing what they used to joke about. He's an idol, or almost an idol. He's on stage, with back up dancers, singing. Low, loud and sexy as fuck. Hyosang feels an ache flow through him, a mix of jealousy and pride. 

They still talk, they don't see each other. Or maybe they could, if Hyosang would make time (even though time is all he has), but he pretends to be busy. If only to spare himself the heartache of his feelings. To save himself from having to be in in the same room as Seokjin. Love makes people do stupid things and Hyosang knows he's stupid. 

Once, when they were both trainees, before Hyosang enlisted and grew into the salaryman he is now, they got a little too drunk. It was the two of them, alone with all their dreams and secrets. Hyosang fell in love that night. He fell in love with the way Seokjin looked at him, the way his fingers felt against his skin, the smell of his hair, the taste of his mouth. Maybe, if they'd debuted together, they could've been together, still. But Hyosang was let go and Seokjin became Jin. 

He's had boyfriends, since Seokjin. But he's always been in love with Seokjin. Best friend-boyfriend combinations are never good, but Hyosang can't help himself. Even now. He looks at the stage and he's breathless. He knows what those screaming girls feel, the longing for something they can never have. But it's worse, for him, because he's had it. He knows all of Seokjin's secrets. He knew all of them. But now. Now he's just a nameless face in the crowd. 

After the show's over, there's a meet and greet thing and Hyosang almost goes. He makes it into the room, standing in line behind a couple of middle school girls who make him feel ancient. But once he's in the room, small as it is, he slips out of line. He can't do this. He goes to put his hat on, a snapback leftover from the days when he was someone else. He lifts his gaze up toward the table, where Seokjin is surrounded by girls. 

And then Seokjin looks up. For a moment he looks exhausted, worn down. And then his eyes flit over the crowd, along the line of girls. And then they stop. Hyosang can feel the exact moment Seokjin's eyes find him. The reaction is obvious, or maybe only obvious to him. Seokjin's eyes go wide, his mouth opens, as if to say something. And then something, Hyosang doesn't know what, slides across his face. 

Hyosang can't take it. The tears prick at the back of his eyes as he tears his gaze away from Seokjin. He jams the snapback on his head and shoves his way out of the room. Away from Seokjin. Away from the feelings that have no place to go. Once he's outside, he feels stupid. But the ache is there, pushing against his chest, threatening to take over. And, for a moment, he lets it. The tears stream down his face, warm in spite of the chill of the wind against his face. And then he pulls himself together. He needs to grow up and move on. 

It takes Seokjin an hour to find him. He doesn't know how he did it. He's sitting in shop, shovelling ramen into his mouth without tasting it. The fluorescent lights are garish, but it's what he needs. It keeps him from forgetting where he is, from letting his guard down. The constant chatter from the clerks and customers reminds him he's not alone. Until a hush falls over the store. Hyosang doesn't look up from his food. It's almost gone, then he can go home and crawl into bed and cry like a fucking baby. And then he hears his name. 

"Jin Hyosang." 

Hyosang chokes on his some of the ramen, almost spilling the rest of it down the front of his shirt and jacket. He doesn't turn. 

"Kim Seokjin." Hyosang replies, the words feel strange in his mouth. 

He hears a chair next to him scrape across the floor. He doesn't turn, instead he shoves the rest of his ramen into his mouth, chewing, all without tasting. He wants to leave, but he can't, not now. 

"Why'd you leave?" Seokjin asks. 

This time Hyosang does turn, he looks over at Seokjin. He doesn't know what to say. The truth? _I couldn't stand being in the same room as you. It hurts too much._ Or maybe a lie, those always come in handy. Stories about how the line was too long, he didn't want to take away time from the fangirls. He doesn't say anything, in the end. 

Seokjin frowns and from this close distance, Hyosang can see the exhaustion etched in Seokjin's face. What he saw from the back of the room when Seokjin thought no one was watching. The familiar ache is thrumming now, filling him with longing and desire. Seokjin's too close. Much too close and Hyosang wants to escape. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to be there?" Seokjin tries again. 

This time Hyosang answers without thinking. "I didn't want you to know." 

There's hurt on Seokjin's face, pain that Hyosang hadn't expect to see. He turns the idea that Seokjin might still miss him, want him, away. He cannot allow himself that fantasy. He's used it too many times to comfort him as he got drunk, alone, on soju. He's used it to jerk off in the shower. To wallow in his sadness. 

"Hyosang …" There's a hollowness in Seokjin's voice that Hyosang knows well. 

He looks over at Seokjin. There are tears, possibly, maybe, in Seokjin's eyes. But Hyosang can't do this. He needs to leave. He scoots his chair back, the sound it makes is loud in the quiet of the store. 

"I can't." Hyosang says. He grabs his phone off the counter, belated remembering his snapback. Fuck it, he thinks, and he doesn't turn back. Not even when Seokjin calls after him. 

This time, when he cries, he doesn't try to stop it. The tears slide silently down his face as he walks. He hears footsteps behind him, but he doesn't stop, just moves out of the way. Until he realizes they're Seokjin's. He feels Seokjin's hand on his arm. He looks straight ahead, but there's no one on the street. He turns back, the only person is Seokjin. 

He pulls free of Seokjin's arm, but not before he notices that there are tears on Seokjin's face. He tries to turn away, but he can't make himself move. Seokjin's wearing his snapback, it looks perfect on him. Like it was made for him. They always used to share hats. 

"You can't what?" Seokjin asks, the question throws Hyosang until he remembers the words he uttered before leaving. 

"Be around you." Hyosang holds Seokjin's gaze now. 

"What?" It's hurt, written across Seokjin's face, it makes Hyosang hurt, too. 

"I can't be around you. You're … it hurts too fucking much." Hyosang hates the way his voice sounds, weak and lonely. But he is both. 

"You think this is fun for me?" Seokjin replies. 

Hyosang takes a step back. "You're living the fucking dream, _Jin_. I've seen you, on TV. You're fine." His words are full of venom, jealousy and pain, so much pain. The ache in his heart is all encompassing now. 

"The dream. The dream?" Seokjin's voice rises when he repeats the words. "It was our dream, Hyosang." 

"Yeah, and I didn't make it. Stop rubbing it in." Hyosang turns away, Seokjin can keep the fucking hat. He needs to get away, as far from Seokjin as possible. He starts to walk but Seokjin's hand is on his wrist, like it's a god damn drama. 

"You don't think I miss you?" Seokjin says, his voice low. 

Hyosang freezes. He doesn't know how to answer that. In his head, the answer is Seokjin losing sleep because they're not together. It's Seokjin writing love songs to him. It's all fucking day dreams. 

"Do you know why they don't let me write my own songs?" Seokjin says, his grip tightening around Hyosang's wrist. "It's because they're all too depressing." 

Hyosang yanks his arm free and whirls around and the words spill out of him, sharp and biting. "Why should I care?" 

"Because they're all about you." Seokjin says, a tinge of something, desperation maybe, in his voice. 

Hyosang stares, because what else can he do. He doesn't know what to say. And it doesn't seem like Seokjin wants an answer, or at least he doesn't wait for one. 

"They're … they. I miss you every fucking day, Hyosang." Seokjin's voice cracks, so full of emotion that Hyosang doesn't know how to deal with this. 

"You … you have everything you ever wanted. You can't possibly miss me." Hyosang's retort sounds weak, even to his own ears, at yet he almost believes it. 

"Bullshit." Seokjin steps in, Hyosang doesn't move. This is the closest he's been to Hyosang since they broke up. Since Hyosang was rejected. "It was our dream."

"It's yours now." Hyosang half-whispers. 

"It's no fun without you." Seokjin replies. 

Hyosang blinks rapidly, trying to keep back the tears. "You could've fooled me." 

Seokjin doesn't reply. Instead he steps in, they're so close Hyosang can feel Seokjin's breath. And then Seokjin's leaning in and Hyosang knows what's going to happen and he does nothing to stop it. Seokjin's mouth on his is exactly like he remembered. Except it's better, so much better. 

Hyosang kisses him back, roughly, hands against Seokjin's hips, pulling him closer. They're practically in the middle of the street and Hyosang doesn't care. Seokjin's fingers against his face, through his hair. They kiss harder and Hyosang can hardly breathe, hardly think straight. But he pulls back first. 

"We can't." He whispers. 

"We can." Seokjin replies. 

Hyosang shakes his head as Seokjin threads their hands together. "You're a fucking kpop idol. We _can't_."

"I don't care." Seokjin replies, pulling Hyosang with him.

There's a car, Hyosang sees now. It's waiting for Seokjin. For them. He looks over at Seokjin. "You're throwing your career away." 

"I need you." Seokjin replies. 

"For now." Bitterness Hyosang only half means slips into the words. 

"I needed you before, too. When you enlisted … something … something in me broke. I do what they tell me because it's easier than doing what I want." Seokjin's voice is low and Hyosang has no choice but to get into the car after Seokjin. 

"Why didn't you say something?" Hyosang asks, quietly. 

Seokjin looks away, then back at him. "I thought you'd moved on." 

Silence descends on them, the tension between them so thick that Hyosang thinks he could touch it. He stares at Seokjin, who watches him. He's having trouble breathing. 

"I've been in love with you since the first time we met." Hyosang whispers, the words like glass between them. 

Seokjin reaches across, his hand in Hyosang's again. "I've never stopped."


End file.
